Ah screw life. I just reached home and realised my door was close. I opened it and on the light, brother sleeping here. Not my problem I'm just gonna do my own stuff. Its 2246 and he's sleeping. Went down to Astroids with Jeremy to meet Nelson, Lace, Lin xun, Bear. Watched them DoTa. Went to parkway for dinner after that. Sounds pretty damn gay. 5 guys go dine at Parkway's KFC together.
Played pool at Katong. Sucked like a sucka' but still won most that I played. Bear and I then played toss the ball to hit other ball game. No human balls were hurt during that process. Then on my way home, I hate seeing couples in the bus. Its depressing. I am currently pissing Seri off by telling her the stuff on my mind. Its irritating I know but it sucks to bottle things.
I am going to do my work now. Cheers all you fellow bloggers and readers.

1:51 PM

Its raining. Its pouring. Just blogging for the fun of it. Thunders and lightning.
Went down to BPP. Bukit Panjang Plaza with Nelson and Winner. Winner is a name. Not a winner. Ok so we went down to BPP so Winner could resign from her OSIM job. Went down to Simei to pool a while. Sigh that place gonna close down. After that grabbed starbucks and e33 while Nelson got his KFC. Went to his house and PARTY. Scream like hardcore soccer fans. Everton 1-0 Man Utd, HT. Reached Nel's house at HT. 2-0 Everton, Winner and I sad =( Then 2-1,2-2. YEAH BABY! 2-3, eventually 2-4 to Man Utd! We screamed like mad cows. The three of us went for supper at the Kopitiam. Walked to Nel's bus stop at 0115 like that and we realised, oh yeah, no bus. Walked Winner home. From Simei to Pasir ris. Like OMGWTFBBQ. But I did, unsafe for a girl to walk alone after all. I miss the whole of Pasir ris, especially a particular part of it. Walked and ran home after that. Reached home at about 0315. Okay, I am seriously tired. Need a bath and a good sleep. Gonna miss church tomorrow.

Pasir ris still feels home to me. To me.

6:53 PM

Thanks for drinking with me. You hold liquor like a -_-. But appreciated. Man you were like dead drunk. 1 bottle and down. Talked so much nonsense. At least now I know your deepest secrets. Haha! You were like 123451kg heavy. I am strong so I sent/carried you home. Cannot drink don't drink man. Haha. Thanks again.

Then I sat by myself. I don't know why I enjoy doing that. ONLY when I am really feeling like a prick. I just want to bury myself.

Lets play by the sea.
Lets shout to the ocean.
Lets build sand castles.
Lets swim in the sea.

If only things turn for the better ^o) <- its a o.O smiley. Ah confusing. Ask me in real life, I'll show it to you.


I just call to say I love you.
I just call to say how much I care.
I just call to say I love you.
And I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
One of the sexiest oldies ever.

Its just beyond my reach. <3
Dreams are only dreams, best kept in the mind of the dreamer.

1:39 PM

Didn't feel like blogging the past few days. I feel retarded going down to CMPB when I didn't have to. Had to ask zhiqi for directions and no, I am no gangster. Last year I asked you too. And the three of us got to thank you. That place was like so high on security. Maximum level. Check this check that, Keep camera phone in a locker. I sat down, that lady asked, "You defered online already? Or have you even tried?" "No" "Okay, then you do it now." And I did it. Waste of time travelling.
Going out soon maybe I will be back later. Cheers to the fucked up day!

10:10 AM

What does $3.20 - $4.20 mean to you? Nothing? Bunch of memories. I was walking home and I sort of thought about last time. Almost doing it everyday was fun. Long rides gives headache, sleep. Take bus to nowhere. Talked about everything under the sun. You see everything I do I can't help but to sink deep into thoughts. Didn't go to CMPB. Played snooker instead. 5 frames and it sucks to play all 5 with sick luck. 2-0 ahead and lost 2-3. Zzz. Imagine a 50/50 shot and after shooting, the white, the red and the pocket are in line. Had mac and we sat and did the BTT's Tys at mac. Seriously stupid questions. I have so much things to do now, can't play games at the moment. Goodbye.
P.S talk could we?

1:13 PM

Ah, so much troubles. Don't get me wrong I seriously didn't meant whatever you thought I did.
School has been a bitch. No, actually it has been alright. Refreshed my memories on variations. Got some homework. Gotta go out to settle my N.S stuff later. I just can't get use to this kind of life. Ok heres some updates:

Saturday, watched wild hogs, so damn funny you guys should watch it. But seriously it has a retarded storyline. Had e33 after movie and then went home and had more. I wanna get drunk but I just can't get drunk. 4 bottles and still not KO-ed.

Sunday, went church and visited my grandmother. She hasn't been that well. Heard from my mum yesterday that she got transferred to Alexandra Hospital. Then played snooker with my brother. Heard some fools dissing the way we play. Of course, we weren't exactly playing we were talking and fooling around. Flashed that warrent card, you guys are going down. Stupid kids. You guys cant even pot a straight red and you're dissing us cause' we broke, red black red pink and red and... my bro amounted 20s and 30s? Come on.

Monday, school school and school. After school went down to Eastpoint and played race to 9 with Joel. 1-0,2-0,3-0,4-0,4-1,5-1,6-1,6-2,6-3,6-4,6-5,7-5,7-6,8-6,9-6. I won. Pwnz0rz. Then I went home and Nelson called me to play pool also. On the way there we saw Orion. So we shouted OREO, OREO, OREO! Then he heard. Someone has a girlfriend now. He talked to me last night and I then realised they went to Vivo City's Toy'r'us. What the hell. And I met another person that I don't really want to see. I know it has been long but don't flood my inbox just because you saw me. Seriously, you aren't going to affect any of my decisions. Don't you try and solve my problems. Ok, back to playing pool, that match, sloppy. Nel even wanted to play punch with guai lan kia aka fatboy and his friend. No form, play sure lose like crazy. Eastpoint arcade closing down already, by the end of this month. All the memories, don't close down please! I want to win another toy, FUCK!

Then, there was Tuesday. Which is now. Yesterday I sat at the bus stop thinking, how nice it'd be if we were still in 04,05' mood. Simei Green memories. Played exquisite(ya right) tennis and the ball feel 4 storeys to the road. What if the world stop spinning, will we all die? And if we do, will we go around telling others that it would be alright? Seems like the world's ending real soon. All of you have your own Gods, don't be too late. Ah alright enough with all these rants. Goodbye.

6:30 AM

It's hard to say "I love you" and not draw back in tears.
It's hard to know that your not there to help me face my fears.
It's hard to know the phones at reach but I can not hear your voice.
It's hard to know that this time breaking up was not my choice.
It's hard to see you laughing when I'm crying deep inside.
It's hard to just find feelings and now have to make them hide.
It's hard to live wihtout you when I need you more than words,
To want to scream how much I love you, but hold back and not be heard.
It's hard to go to sleep at night when I can only dream of you.
It's hard to think that you might fall in love with someone new.
It's hard to not start crying when I hear your favorite song.
It's hard to sit and wonder, where did I go wrong?
It's hard to live without you, if I only would have known
I will never love another, I would rather be alone.

1:18 PM

Gonna take my theory test really soon. Before I hit 18 I was like, I GOT TO DRIVE. Now that I'm, I don't really care. In fact I don't really care about anything. I feel like showing the whole world that I am not happy with something. Get troubles and don't fight back. Argh, top my class in English so what, I want something more than just that. Reminiscing, I wished I was more "wide-minded". Its just stupid to be pissed off at everything. I just don't feel well. Psychiatric treatment pl0x.
Nah, just kidding. Just fast forward my year. Nothing much this year, just basically aim for super grades and just take one step at a time. I read all my past posts. 2005, what a year. 2007, what a fucked up one. Fuck. I'm off to mug.

What do you do when you post something like, "23/07/05 p.s i love you and its true" and realised that she was online? You change it to "hah". Fuck, why am I doing this? Screw this.
Why can't she just tell me herself that she don't want to have anything to do with me anymore. Why go through all these? Why make it sound like you will care when you don't? Why do you make it look like you are going to be there for me when I fall when you won't, but instead only hear from people that I'm history. Why. Why are you such great liar? BUT WHY IS IT THAT I CAN SEE THROUGH ALL YOUR FUCKING LIES?
Please, do you even know what I'm going through?







Bet you have absolutely no idea.

11:56 AM

Going to go to school in about a few minutes or so. Gonna endure lessons till four plus. Somebody is rushing me already, yet I am here. What makes a person wonder? Is there like this cell in the body that triggers that thought? I would like to have mine removed. Thanks.

11:49 PM

Read through my posts last time, it was me who comforted a best friend, seems like its the other way round now. I need my own thinking space. I need what I need. I think I know what I need, I need that special thing. Alright enough of my needs. Chemistry was a pain. Why do I always think I know this I know that but fact is, I don't know anything at all.
If I had a chance, I wanna vanish from this world. I don't know what I am living for. I thought I was living for everything but I thought wrong. What big of a difference these 110 days had made. 110 days ago I had everything, 110 days later I am crawling again. I still can't let go of those memories.
Counting my days to my comeback.
Don't ask me what, I will count myself.
Bye off to drown myself in vodka.

12:33 PM

So much as happened. 19th January till now has been nothing but misery. I wished for stuffs but wishing will just be wishing. Had school today as usual can't seem to divert my attention to stuff that I should, accounts is alright. Reviving this blog for fun.

12:11 PM